White coat. Heels.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
