I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
