You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
