So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
