Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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