Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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