I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
