i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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