Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
