I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
