The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
