Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
