No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
