I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
