The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
