plz talk dirty to me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
