Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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