Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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