it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
