the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
