Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
