I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
