With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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