I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
