I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
is it fun? or sober?
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