are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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