I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
