Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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