I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize