they need to just BURY HIM!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
