You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
