It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
