Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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