my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
