dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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