i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
