If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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