Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
