Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Randomize
