i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
