just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
