I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
