theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
