do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
try to milk me bitch
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