Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
