Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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