I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize