THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
