Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize