Pants 0. Shit 1.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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