Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
