we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
