did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
