just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
