i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
