The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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