it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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