I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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