Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my being single is dangerous.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
