never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
