Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
