You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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