$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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