After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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