I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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