I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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