dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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