so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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